How is it possible to miss someone, so painfully, that you’ve never met?
Be so scared of losing someone, you’ve never really had?
Although, regardless of never having met my boyfriend, or never really “having” him. He’s a lot closer to me than most people, even people I’ve known for years or that I see everyday.
Letting someone in, is terrifying, it’s amazing, and he’s amazing, but it scares me to death. Hopefully only two more weeks, and we can be together, and it’ll either, get more scary, less scary or break my heart. I just want to be with him now, I’m excited and so nervous about the first time we lock gazes, the first time we hug, our first kiss. I’ve built it up so much in my mind, the pressure I’m putting on myself is ridiculous, but I feel like, if he gives me this chance for us to be together, that’ll melt away. We do get on so well, and life does sometimes get in the way, but if our time together goes well, I can’t imagine life and distance playing a huge part in keeping us apart. I’ve fallen so fast, and hard, for this too good to be true boy & I can only hope he feels the same. I’ve given him more of me than I’ve ever given anyone, especially this early on. I don’t usually let people in, I usually run away at the first signs of anything real but this time, I crave it, I crave him. I want this to be everything.
I trust him though, my fear lies in me not trusting myself. to be good enough, or to not mess this up. <3